Where we begin.

A heart like ice, with skin so thin; eyes like broken glass, I see the pain within. Crooked bones like Moulded dust. Paralysed. I need. I must. Discard the torture let us reinvent, show the heart love for the body to mend, hand in hand the work will be done; to continue earths rotation beneath the sun…


                Follow-Like-LOVE


You

How to know the real from the fake; where every decision gets harder to make.

How to understand the meaning of now; when you keep looking back and wondering how.

Hard to keep still when adrenalin pumps.

Hard to move when you’ve had enough.

The patient

The stubborn

The winner

The loser

The one who drives, and the lost cruiser.

We all try to be similar but what’s to gain, people are different there are none of the same.

Unique is a skill a master at best, being yourself truly beats the rest.

To smile, to laugh, to cry and scream,

Let us define who we are meant to be…

What Happened

8 months ago I went through something beautiful and traumatic, it is something I will never forget for many reasons.30-11-15 my beautiful boy was brought into this world unaware of the danger we were both just in. 

29-11-15 5 weeks before my due date at precisely 5 am I woke to a pain like I have never felt before; it felt like a sharp knife was plunged into my stomach and a bomb went off inside. Scared and nervous my instinct told me it is not labour but something worse something to be afraid of, I woke my husband and went to emergency department, upon arrival it had gotten so bad I could not walk so I got wheeled up to maternity. I explained my situation and every detail of my pain and they gave me medication to relieve my pain and monitored the baby knowing I was not in labour but to make sure he was ok. The pain became bearable and I was told it was the baby’s head pressing a nerve and I was sent home. I knew something was wrong but there was no sign of baby coming… Until 7.30pm my water broke but something was wrong I was bleeding too much so I rushed to the hospital, all were in shock that I was back so they started to monitor baby and contractions and all were fine and the contractions began to grow hard and strong I stayed for 8 hours bleeding and they done nothing but told me to wait and see because my baby’s heart was strong. Suddenly his heart rate dropped significantly, I was so afraid when the midwives came in it was all a rush to get me into surgery I was being wheeled away, signing papers, listening to what may happen to me and all I could think of was my baby I wanted him safe and sound. The surgeon performed a emergency c section. 

30-11-15 2.44am my son took his first breath of our air. He was premature but not small but because of him being so early they took him straight away I only caught a glimpse of his beautiful face at this point I learned my placenta had ruptured and I was bleeding internally and my baby was suffocating inside. After recovery I was allowed to be with him, to hold him, kiss him and just stare, nothing mattered at that point I would do it all again to have him with me. We are both happy and healthy I thank god everyday for this blessing it may have been dramatic but it was all worth it..

Pictured..

Captured.

Remembered.

Memories.

Sentiment.

Old days.

New beginnings.

Time traveller.

Captured the past, remembered the times, the sweetest memories the old days, the sentiment is mine, to carry on for new beginnings. The amazing ability to travel back, with a click of a camera; your life forever in tack..

Witness 

Witnessing someone hurt, hurts.Especially when that “someone” is you. Watching the bags under your eyes get worse revealing the sleepless nights, skin becoming pale from the sun you avoid, to forever remain in darkness, unhealthy weight loss from the food you refuse to eat. Life becomes meaningless when there is no hope for a better day no hope of recovery. Drowning because your

Heart is shattering 

Eyes are drying 

Smiles fading 

Hurt increasing 

Have hope, lift yourself when your down remember the better days and work your way back to the life you strived for, the life you dreamed of m, the imagination and fantasies your craved. There is always hope even when you believe there is none dig deep and you will find.